Welcome to the final episode of Season 4! It’s a doozy. Extended session. Kelinswriter (@worddancer21) and myself will do our best to recap all the things that went down…
…It will be hard, because of all the feels. Everyone got great lines. And cliffhanger-y goodness abounds.
First of all, Katherine catches Alan and Jake in flagrante delicto. Hee.
Kelinswriter: Fade in on Jake needing Ritalin while recapping the plot to steal Katherine’s money. Katherine interrupts in convenient fashion. I wonder if she’s getting wise to what’s going on with these two?
Jake scrambles for an explanation, and failing that, scampers off.
Katherine joins Alan. They’re both wearing lovely shades of green.
Lara puts on her makeup to ominous music. She wants a drink. She’s dressed as the witch from Sleeping Beauty. I like it.
Kelinswriter: Lara’s doing her best to fight off the siren song of the chardonnay. Doesn’t work.
Natasha enters, bringing her a magazine to cool her nerves. “The lesbian bible. Curve.” (Kelinswriter: Also nicely done Curve product placement, show.)
Kelinswriter: Shockingly, Natasha can’t keep herself from fussing with Lara’s hair.
They drool over shoes together. “I’m as femme as they get,” Lara tells Natasha. Then she realizes who she’s standing next to, and recants.
Lara sends Natasha off to find Ani, who’s gone astray AGAIN.
Ani is still on the staircase gazing at Gina. She doesn’t want any of Gina’s shit right now, but Gina persists. Just five minutes. Then she babbles. Ani brings up the “Go away” portion of the hospital visit, which Gina visibly regrets.
Then Gina says, “I love you” and it’s like the first time all over again.
Kelinswriter: Stairwell fight! I love stairwell fights. I think they need to keep this one so they can fight in it more often. In spite of her frustrations and her fear of repeating old patterns, you can see how drawn Ani is to Gina in this scene. Finally Gina says what she feels and it’s magic. You can feel so many emotions crackling between them.
Outside, Katherine inquires as to Logan’s presence at a wedding of near-strangers. Logan decides “trolling” isn’t the appropriate answer.
Katherine gets a phone call and wanders off into the grass. That leaves Alan and Logan to count their golden chickens before they’ve hatched.
“To happy endings,” Alan says.
Kelinswriter: “To everyone getting exactly what they deserve,” Logan says to Alan, thus proving my theory that she’s actually going to double cross him and end up with Katherine’s money (or as Katherine’s consigliere) herself.
Guya, who’s not at the wedding for real, is still trying to sage her way to Owen.
He looks really good. Happy and bronzed. She thanks him for sending Gina back, and he admits he wanted her to stay.
Kelinswriter: It worked! Guya has her Owen back. You know she’s happy when she’s calling someone a sonofabitch. But it’s bittersweet too – she knows the second she sees him that she’ll have to let him go again.
Drew and Jamie are preparing for the wedding, even though Jamie still has misgivings.
Kelinswriter: Thank you, Jamie, for saying what almost everyone watching is thinking.
He’s always on Gina’s side. Drew makes Jamie promise they’ll never get married just because of pressure. Or drinking. Or fear. Jamie’s role this season has been sadly diminished, as he’s made up some of the best moments of seasons past, so it’s good to see him now, holding down the moral gravitas of the wedding fort.
Ani and Gina are still having it out on the staircase. “The only reason you’re here is you hate losing,” Ani says. So true.
Even though Gina says, “It’s different this time,” she follows it up with “I can’t lose you.” Exactly!
Ani’s still hurting and she lays out her wounds for Gina. Gina isn’t afraid of them for once.
“Pride is such a waste of time.”
Gina says beautiful things until Ani kisses her, right there on the stairs.
Kelinswriter: You can tell two people are meant for each other when they know how to fight. Ani and Lara just talk at each other, but Ani and Gina talk TO each other. The irony is that Ani can so clearly see the struggles with Gina in a way she won’t let herself see them with Lara – because what she has with Lara isn’t “real” in the way what she has with Gina is. I think that’s what scares her. And then Gina asks Ani to look at her and we get that beautiful, glorious, nobody in the world is ever going to kiss you like she does kiss. thud.
Outside, Jake and Alan and Katherine and Logan are still milling around.
Kelinswriter: I had something to say about this but that kiss knocked it right out of my brain. rewinds
Gina and Ani kiss so long and so tenderly that Lara catches them.
Kelinswriter: Okay, that’s not a kiss, that’s a full on makeout session while Lara watches. Damn.
At the Brogno clan gathering, Stella asks, “Are you saying Gina actually listened to you?” to Sarah’s recounting of sending Gina off on the “I love you, Ani” mission.
The Colonel is still grossed out. “No, no, no, Ani’s the one…I just… I need a drink.” I love that.
Richard is proud of Sarah’s childlike meddling. She takes after him.
The Colonel devises a strategy. They go to war!
Kelinswriter: Love that little bourbon and branch shoutout to the Lewis brothers. Also Brognos being proactive! This is slightly terrifying.
Lara watches Gina and Ani kiss. Her heart is breaking. As soon as they break apart, Lara shouts at Gina and begs Ani to come with her, instead.
Ani says Lara makes her feel safe. Gina makes her feel scared.
Kelinswriter: STILL GOING. But then Lara interrupts and does her best to undermine Ani. The way she manipulates her really makes my skin crawl – she’s defining their relationship in opposition to Gina, rather than by what it is, which is so unhealthy. Ani lets herself buy into it with her comments about feeling “safe” with Lara (I want to see this explored more, show, because there’s a lot to explore there).
Jake appears. “Gina’s a monster. She’s toying with you on the most important day of your life.” Well, when you look at it that way…He’s aware of Gina’s one night stand with Logan and that’s all it takes. Gina gets all the shit she deserves from Ani. Good they’re clearing the air!
Kelinswriter: Jake feeds it some more with the Logan talk. This is actually where I started to get annoyed at Ani because she’s being very hypocritical. It was fine for her to be with Lara all this time, but Gina has a one-nighter with Logan and it’s some sort of betrayal? I call bullshit.
Ani walks off with Lara, who’s still heartbroken even in victory. But Jake’s smiling an evil smile.
“It’s just not your day,” Jake says as he heads up the stairs.
Owen’s enjoying the sunlight. He has to go. Guya doesn’t want him to, so he describes heaven for her.
It’s a Hitchcock film. Owen’s on set. “No fucking birds, okay.” They laugh. It really does sound like paradise.
Kelinswriter: Owen is working with Hitchcock. This makes sense, as it’s said that Hitchcock didn’t care much for smart actors.
Guya begs him for prophecy. “There’s some stuff. Loose ends. No matter happens, what you hear, it’s not your fault.” Then Owen’s gone.
Speaking of stuff that’s not Guya’s fault, Brandon is stalking Van, as usual. Then he slams Van against the stone wall and it’s very gratifying. He throws everything he knows at Van. That Van was there when Owen died.
“I didn’t think that she would, Brandon.” That’s a little boy pleading for mercy.
Kelinswriter: Oh man, you can smell the testosterone coming off the screen. Van seems like a scared little kid here, which he is. I kept waiting for Brandon to take him over his knee.
Van confesses all his failures. To save his brother, to man up to truth, to stop what he started. When Brandon walks away, he cries.
Jake, by contrast, is the happiest little boy on earth. He dances with Lara, he kisses Lara. I thought he’d offer to marry Lara if Ani backed out. Maybe that’s still coming!
Kelinswriter: These two are creepy together, and I really love it. More please. Also I am beginning to think that Lara is a serial flirter (first Sami, now Jake). Makes me wonder how long it will be before she strays from Ani with more than booze.
Gina’s on the beach, alone. She closes her eyes and Owen’s there.
And he’s pissed. She begs to go with him but he yells at her. One more chance with Ani before she surrenders. Then he’s gone again.
Kelinswriter: Ghost!Owen tries to convince Gina to give it one more try, though to be honest, I think she’s mostly in the right here. There is a fine line between stating your case and being a stalker, and Gina’s starting to cross over it. Also, I get that it’s hard to be alone, but there are also a lot of healthy things about being single, and a few of these people might want to experiment with them a bit before jumping into another relationship. But what the hell, it’s a soap opera, and Gina’s own personal Greek chorus has arrived to egg her on. Restraining order or bust!
“On your feet, Gina!”
“Brush the sand off your ass.”
“We got your back.”
The Brogno clan is here to order her back to the wedding. She’s so startled she runs off. It’s hilarious.
Jake visits Ani. He calls her a “marzipan” and we get a little glimpse into their childhood. She asks him if she’s doing the right thing. He nods eagerly. Happy Jake.
Kelinswriter: Ani is so defensive with Jake. (Side note: where are the parents?) “I’m fine, everything is going to be fine.” Yeah that’s the spirit, Ani. “Fine” is a reason to get married. Really it is.
How many times did I think Jake was going to stick his tongue down someone’s throat? Alan, Lara, Ani…Maybe next season!
Owen’s back in heaven’s waiting room, watching TV. Wedding music plays.
Kelinswriter: Anyone else wishing Owen had pulled an Elvis and blown a hole in that TV?
The minister walks Lara down the aisle. Then Jake walks Ani down the aisle. Lara and Ani smile at each other.
Gina runs in. “Okay. I’m not too late.”
Jamie’s excited. Katherine’s smug.
Gina opens her heart in front of all of her enemies and all her friends.
“Your love is magical. It’s consuming, it’s heavenly.” Gina delivers basically the best wedding vows ever. She ends with the “missing piece” metaphor.
Music begins to play.
Owen gives one last proud look to his sister.
Gina’s gaze is confident.
Someone sings, “All resistance is gone.”
Kelinswriter: Lara and Ani really are pretty together, even if their marriage is a disaster waiting to happen. And then Gina comes tromping in and decides to recite the letter, which she apparently memorized before the Colonel stole it from her and mailed it off to its funeral pyre. It’s balls to the wall, and so damn soapy, and why Lara hasn’t called the cops yet or tried to tear Gina’s face off (Rysler: That is what I was waiting for this whole time…), I’m not quite sure. And then Gina finishes, and Ani tries to process all the stuff that’s been floating around in her head all season. Come on Ani, say something, say something, say….aw shit, fade to black. Damn you angsty soapy goodness, why can’t I quit you?